3 Essential Tools for Healing: Writing, Meditation and Conversation

Bertrand Russell quote photo | Dianna BonnyI was recently asked about the things that were most helpful to my healing process so far. I thought I would share my top three choices, in no particular order: Writing, meditation and actively learning to engage in honest, and often difficult, conversations. Breath Work and tapping would also be on the list.

Writing has been essential to my entire journey, through my journaling, blogging and crafting the book. This practice has been a form of therapy because it created a relationship with the events that changed my life. In writing about them, rather than leaving the bulk of the shadowy events to fester on their own, I established open channels of communication with my inner world. I was hesitant to write in the beginning, due in part to a lack of trust in my self and my ability to handle the truth, but showing up at the blank page every day changed that rather quickly.

In a strange way, the very act of writing grants access to the truth within. It is a sacred act, as though just by putting pen to paper, we honor that part of ourselves that so often goes unacknowledged: our inner wisdom. Like any skill, writing is developed over time and the more you just sit down and do it, the more it will show up for you.

I have notepads everywhere — in my car, on my side tables, in my purse, you name it — I am never without paper. I tend to start everything longhand and then transfer it to the computer. My handwriting definitely produces a different voice than typing on the keyboard. I have read that it accesses a different part of the brain and was happy to come across a study encouraging children to learn handwriting. I believe our hands contain a magical connection to the stories we carry.

Another key to healing has been establishing a regular practice of meditation, which has been completely life changing. My mind used to run circles around me like Chicken Little. I really and truly did not believe I could meditate or reign in all those out of control thoughts but, like writing, meditation asks for consistency and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Sometimes I simply sit and watch my mind, noticing all the banter that shows up. Eventually, the delicious quiet arrives. Other times, I listen to my favorite guided meditation by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Both methods bring about clarity and inner peace.

Over this past weekend I had the good fortune of meeting a woman who is an anthropologist. We swapped stories and had some fascinating discussions about the importance of conversation and the difficulty humans have in speaking openly about topics like death. She herself is dealing with a cancer diagnosis and has been perplexed at the disappearance of her friends during this difficult time. I found myself in a similar situation after the suicide.

One of the most life saving elements of my journey has been finding people willing to brave a conversation with me, as well as learning to speak from my heart to my children, about what happened. I am reminded again and again by people I meet how rare meaningful conversation can be in today’s world. Our fear of being in close proximity to another person’s pain is so powerful that we often leave them flailing in silence and isolation. I believe the bridge to this unfortunate chasm is in learning to tolerate our own discomfort first, and then expanding that outward to others. Offering the simple gesture of our genuine presence is one of the most valuable gifts we can give to others.

May you always be loved, protected and cherished on your healing journey.


Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

  2 comments for “3 Essential Tools for Healing: Writing, Meditation and Conversation

  1. Yemi
    December 8, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    Reading some of your posts, especially the ones on breath work, enlightens and motivates me to continue a sustained practice of healing (deep breathing), despite the initial thoughts of “nothing’s changed yet”. Thank you.

    • Dianna Bonny
      December 8, 2014 at 7:26 pm

      Thank you Yemi. I have that thought often and I think it is a slow process to change a lifetime of deeply embedded habits. I think of each breath as creating the possibility of space, but I still forget to breathe deeply, quite often. It’s a practice isn’t it? Thank you for being here – I appreciate your presence. xo

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