Talk About It: Don’t Allow Never to Define Your Future

healing quote photo | Dianna Bonny Photography

This past week, I encountered the same conversation that I have had again and again during the last four years. It goes something like this:

 “My [Father/Mother/Sibling/Grandparent] chose suicide [ten/twenty/thirty/forty] years ago, and my family has [NEVER] discussed it.”

Never is the common denominator and it is its own kind of wilderness.

Never will stop healing dead in its tracks.

Then, over the weekend I attended a speaking workshop and found myself in a group of incredibly talented people. Each person had an amazing story and message to share, but we were all terrified to get up and speak the words.

In reflecting on these two experiences, it made me ponder why we are so scared of speaking our truth. Why do we quarantine our pain into the land of never? They are questions I have explored before, but because these two experiences happened in such close proximity, I saw them in a new light.

In part, I believe it boils down to emotions, or, more specifically, our fear of feeling them. We bat them away as though they are annoying pests, but, in reality, they offer both a map and compass pointing us in the direction of  our true selves and the possibility of healing.

Whatever tragedy cut a path through your life and now holds your shredded heart in its clutching fist, I implore you to stop, and allow yourself a moment to breathe. Notice how deeply or shallow you take each breath into your body. Does it stop at your clavicle, or go deep to your hollows and touch the pain?

This is where you need to begin, with the simple practice of befriending your breath.

Notice where the grief or anger resides in your body, and go there with every ounce of compassion you can muster for your broken life and soul, and remain there as a curious observer, honoring the emotions passing through you. As with the seasons and tides, they have a profound and meaningful purpose.

Tweet: “Pollinate your healing potential by honoring the power of your emotions.”

Honoring your emotions and healing your wounds might be the ultimate antidote to these times we live in, times that are full of tragedy and designed to anesthetize the human spirit. When we allow suffering and loss to become our entire story, our view of life becomes small and myopic.

“Why me?” leads to more, “Why me?”

Healing asks, “Why not you?” You, dear soul, are now one of many that have been equalized by loss, the common thread of humanity. The bigger question that needs to be answered is how you are going to repurpose the energy of pain into something better. How are you going to live an impassioned and integrated life that honors the entire spectrum of your beautiful, and painful, human experience?

After tragedy, what you now hold in your hands is the rest of your life, a matter needing careful consideration.

Don’t allow the isolation and silence of never to define it.

What part of your life has never been touched by words? Who might you be if that experience had the opportunity to be truly seen, felt and healed? I would honored if you would share.

Sending love your way,


Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

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