New Year’s Resolutions & Self-Love

beach sunset | Dianna Bonny Photography

As the sun slowly drifted down over the horizon for the final time in 2013, I was walking down the beach reflecting on things and I realized that I have never been very good at the New Year’s resolution thing. Have you? I always have the very best intentions and I love thinking about how I can do better, be better, change and grow. I used to make endless lists of goals along this vein, but as the days of the new year trundled by, I would invariably lose touch with my insights and end up watching them blow through my fingers like grains of sand.

Instead, I now try to work on things I want to change in the moment, although I do plan for the year ahead by mind mapping so I can capture the essence of what I want to accomplish, which seems to create less pressure, and less chance of failure.

Of all the things I have learned over the last few years, I think one of the most important realizations has been this: living an unconscious life has consequences.

Everything I do now begins and ends around awareness and noticing the way my mind tends to create things that aren’t really there at all.

I’ve read that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master, and I have come to understand that I have lived most of my life in the latter part of this equation. It is a backward way of living, but once the mind is in control, it is rather reluctant to relinquishing its grip.

Over the holiday I spent quite a bit of time reading and I came across a very simple idea in a blog post by James Altucher, and then ended up ordering the book by Kamal Ravikant on my Kindle. I highly recommend it as a way to unseat your unconscious mind from being the ruler of your world.

It begins with a fierce commitment to loving yourself as well as the practice of actually saying, “I love myself.” Don’t be fooled by the simplicity: it’s a brilliant way to recalibrate the mental loops that are endlessly spinning in your head.

Over and over, simply repeat this phrase as a way to interrupt them and create new pathways through the jungle of negativity in the mind. I will admit it’s a little strange at first, but once the oddity wears off, you can take it to the next level and add the power of emotion to supercharge the process. For instance, conjure up the love you had the first time you looked at your child, and then emotionalize the statement “I love myself” with that feeling, and direct it inward, toward yourself.

It’s completely different than just stating, I love myself in a bla, bla, bla way.

Beyond one’s own mental limitations, the next level is a way of neutralizing the negativity arriving daily on your doorstep. Again, a simple, but profound way of engaging with the world. Ask yourself, “If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?

The applications are endless and it opens the door to a freedom that goes well beyond any New Year’s resolution. The author also presents meditation practices that expand the process.

I hope 2014 is a year full of growth and the kind of boundless self love that propels you toward everything you desire.

With love,


Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

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