Marriage & Separation

The Secret Life of Secrets: When to Tell a Secret?

secret favor

“Lying, by omission or commission, is a bad idea. I cannot shake my dependency on the white lie, because I was brought up to be nice. And I’ve never figured out the nice way to say, ‘I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than come to your house for dinner.’ But the meaningful lie, the kind that involves being…

Discovering Your Truth and Healing After an Affair

reality quote |Dianna Bonny Photography

In my other life, I knew a woman who was involved in a long-term affair. This went on for years, and she spoke about it — and her vision of their future together — often and openly, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. I was always surprised by her confident tone of inevitability. At first,…

Emotional Healing: Shining a Light on Shame

pretending

“Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”  –Brené Brown People make assumptions about me when they hear my story, which I suppose is understandable. Boy, you must hate men. Will you ever trust anyone again? How could you not have known? I don’t hate men at all, quite the…

After an Affair: Healing After Betrayal

Lotus Logo

Over the last three and a half years I have tentatively tiptoed my way across the landscape of betrayal, and to be honest, the mental gymnastics require nothing less than raw courage. On days when I am feeling utterly naked and vulnerable, I attribute it to my husband being a selfish philanderer, but truthfully, just a few steps beyond that,…

Marriage and Betrayal: I Burned My Wedding Dress

prayer on the beach

This past August marked what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. As a way of releasing the commitment bound to that day, I burned my wedding dress. Over the years, I tried on the oyster-pink raw silk garment to see if it still fit. At times it did, while others it did not. In August, it fit my body…