Forgiveness And Suicide Loss With Ana Holub

This edition of The Healing Project Interviews proves that I am an incredibly lucky human being. Author, peace ambassador and educator Ana Holub recently contacted me to discuss forgiveness as it relates to suicide loss. Our interview could have gone on indefinitely, but during our 68 minutes together, we discussed the idea that the conversation surrounding suicide loss is thankfully (and finally) happening, and that Ecstatic Forgiveness is a necessary element of this discussion.

When her mother took her life thirty years ago, the conversation was non-existent and Ana shares the deep insights she has learned after dealing with her mother’s death at the age of twenty-three when she was eight and a half months pregnant. Her book, Forgive and Be Free, is a testament, and beautiful offering, to the lessons learned on her journey.

Our conversation includes her deep wisdom on:

  • Using the “Forgiveness Model,” a new paradigm, to unwind the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual layers.
  • The idea that we will be much better off by connecting to something bigger than ourselves to deal with something as emotionally devastating as a suicide.
  • Unraveling the social conditioning of blame, shame and guilt.
  • Creating safe conditions so we can contemplate how we are going to travel with this experience.
  • It isn’t just the suicide: it is the relationship we had with the person, which can include growing up with someone who may have been mentally ill: What do we do with the messaging we received about what life is, and isn’t?
  • On being left behind: deconstructing the idea that you will have to figure out the rest of your life on your own.
  • Relaxing into the notion of the ocean of life. It is not coming after you to attack, no matter how awful things may seem. Each and every experience contains treasures and gems.
  • There is a lot of suffering on Earth and it shows up in many ways. No matter what kind of adversity we encounter, we are going to need to connect to something bigger than ourselves to make sense of the experiences.
  • The Traditional Forgiveness paradigm equates to “I should do it”  -v-  the Ecstatic Forgiveness model which says, “Yes, I am going to let this go because it is what I need to do to set myself free.
  • Asking, “What is in the way of my own feeling of peace and freedom?”
  • Moving beyond ideas of: “I’m left with the mess; “I’m the one who has to bring up the kids;” and “Now I have to pay the bills.”
  • Forgiveness can represent a cleansing and laying down of our sorrows. Is can be a spiritual way of getting support so we are able to breathe confusion, pain, loss and anger out of our bodies and minds and  so we can link to spirit.
  • If we truly desire healing, we cannot remain in the closed loop of suffering while recycling our pain over and over. We must open to the idea of being brutally honest with ourselves and tenderly exploring where we are holding onto our pain.
  • Begin with the Meditation of Equality.
  • Embracing the idea that nothing is wrong with you.
  • Strive to remove the layers, instead of adding to the burden. The idea of “being better” is simply just another layer of suffering.
  • Consider the “Massive Strip Tease.”
  • The role of prayer and spontaneous giving and receiving.
  • You will forgive when you are ready and that is ok. Step aside from any judgment.
  • Forgiveness allows us to become a peace ambassador as well as a part of the global, awakening tribe.
  • The formula of: “HOW” – Honesty; Openness; Willingness.
  • How reaching inward, toward the places of pain, creates space for the light to enter.
  • Run toward spirit, and yourself, like your hair is on fire.

I hope find this edition of The Healing Project Interviews enlightening and helpful to your healing path.

May your journey be blessed and protected always.


Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.


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