Fear of Rejection: How Do You Deal with Rejection?

reject | Dianna Bonny Photography

I used to be a pretty private person. For starters, I’m a Cancer, so the secrecy gene is woven into my DNA and drove me to hide anything about myself that seemed out of the ordinary in the proverbial closet. Also, I grew up in a household where there was no such thing as privacy. My mother felt it was her right to read my journals, so I became quite neurotic about my personal business and thoughts.

The universe must have thought I needed to be cured of this nonsense when it delivered a life altering tsunami that left my secrets scattered out in the open. In short order, I surrendered and left the secrets right there, out in the open. And then for some strange reason, I decided to write a blog about them.

Along with my penchant for privacy, I have never been terribly fond of rejection. I know no one likes to be rejected, but most of my life was spent avoiding it at all cost, leaving very little room for stretching beyond my comfort zone and personal growth.  It took me more than a few times through Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements for me to grasp the “Don’t Take Anything Personally” adage.

I think it stems from being adopted, (here comes my armchair therapist analysis) a part of my history that indelibly stained my world with the feeling, and hence fear of, rejection. Even though I have met my birth mother. Even though I know the circumstances surrounding my birth. In spite of all this knowing, there is a part of me that has yet to relinquish the notion that I was somehow rejected, so when I am rejected now, it harkens back to that original wound.

Enough analysis but one has to question the sanity of writing a book, which has to be submitted to agents and/or publishers for approval. Or, rejection.

What was I thinking?

I guess the point is that I did not really think much about what I was doing when I started. It was more of a calling, so I didn’t analyze it too much, which is very unusual for me. I just got down to business and wrote myself silly and before I knew it I had given birth to a manuscript.

During the last few years, I have endured more than my share of personal attacks regarding my husband’s suicide. Thankfully, they have turned out to have a silver lining. Once I allowed the meaning of, “Don’t take anything personally” to seep in, I began using all the information to better understand the underbelly of human nature and cultivate the thickest skin possible. I have to admit though that every now and again, rejection slips through my newly formed armor and pierces me right in the heart.

I am wondering how all of you handle the unfortunate business of being rejected. Any magic formulas or mantras that keep your head on straight and your heart protected?

Sending love and acceptance your way.


Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *