Archive for the ‘Dianna Bonny’ Category

The Power of Writing as a Creative Therapy for Healing

Monday, July 21st, 2014

dazzlement | Dianna Bonny Photography

Writing a blog is not unlike the age-old practice of keeping a journal. The major difference being that one doesn’t necessarily want anyone to happen upon the contents contained in the pages of a journal, where one has high hopes that many folks will in fact read a blog post.

I believe the magic of a journal is this: in dumping the monkey-mind chatter that endlessly ricochets around our head onto a blank page, it somehow seems to lose its power. Often, when the words are spilling out onto the page, ideas will come together and things might loosely start to make sense – a delightful bonus.

I don’t write blog posts with the intention of a mind dump. I always start with an idea and then follow the thread to find the lesson. It is very purposeful, although I really never know where I am going until I get there. (more…)

My Story, Your Story: On Coping with Loss and Beginning Again

Friday, July 18th, 2014

I have been revisiting some of my blog posts this summer and when I came across this one I knew I had to re-post it. I wrote it at the beginning of this blogging journey. It clearly details my “why” and comes straight from my broken heart and wounded soul. I needed to be reminded of these precious things and hope you don’t mind me sharing it again.

Philip Pullman photo quote | Dianna Bonny Photography

Hi.  My name is Dianna.

I am a seeker.  A curious observer of life and human behavior.

I am currently navigating the deep end of a very shocking experience. In 2010, my family’s life was devastated by tragic and unforeseen events. Life interrupted at warp speed. Ten gut wrenching days that began with a mysterious phone call and ended with my husband’s suicide.

It was chaos. Revelation after revelation. Deep betrayal. The kind that rips your heart out.

I had no road map to guide me, no warning or previous experience with these matters. Each day brought forth new facts and circumstances to handle. Information, as well as misinformation, was coming fast and furious. It felt like I was standing in the middle of a freeway desperately trying to get over to an off ramp. One wrong move and I would be flattened. I did get flattened — many times.  The people closest to us — who lived it start to finish — said they had to check in every three hours just to keep up . (more…)

Dealing with Loss: Healing Through Mentoring and Conversation

Friday, July 11th, 2014

Earl R Smith II quote photo

It is difficult to believe that it has been a year since my singing debut and fiftieth birthday. So much has happened since then, and of course it means another year sandwiched between the life changing summer and the present. In many ways, it seems like yesterday, in others, another lifetime.

As the fourth year passes, I find that I am more full of appreciation, less fear and confusion.

Traveling through the landscape of loss, I have become a firm believer that time does not heal all wounds. Healing is a choice that must be cultivated and consciously practiced. The benefit of time is (more…)

Posing for Pictures: A Mirror of Self Discovery

Monday, July 7th, 2014

I am not much of a get-my-photo-taken kind of gal. Being seen has been an uncomfortable space for me. I was the girl awkwardly hiding behind other kids in teen-age photos. I am the woman holding my hand up in front of my face when the camera comes out. I have thousands of photos of my kids, very few of me.

So, taking the picture for this blog was a huge step outside my comfort zone. I’m not entirely sure why I decided to do it, however I highly recommend it as an exercise in being witnessed by the person behind the camera and then beginning to see your self.

When I look at photos of myself from years ago, I see a fearful woman who didn’t believe she fit in. My eyes are a deep reservoir of longing. I didn’t know that then, the longing I felt, but I can see it now, how much I wanted to belong in the world around me.

The photos just after the suicide reveal an emptiness and sadness that is hard to capture in words. My face is gaunt and devoid of joy, my eyes lifeless and dull. (more…)

Summer Days + Gluten-Free Blueberry Crisp Recipe

Friday, July 4th, 2014

blueberry crisp recipe | Dianna Bonny Photography

I ran this post about this time last year and I felt it necessary to break it out again because the lazy days of Summer are upon us and they go well with this delicious gluten-free Blueberry Crisp.

As I tweak some of my favorite recipes to accommodate a healthier diet, I have to admit that I hanker for the old days when I barely gave a thought to eating bread or wheat, other than it might make me fat.

This is one of my favorite summer foods to make because there is something incredibly satisfying about fruit combined with the cookie-like topping of a crisp and a huge scoop of ice cream. I have mentioned before that I am not a baker, which is why the crisp is a perfect project for me: it is terribly forgiving.

I usually double the topping recipe because, well, more of it is better. (more…)

The Healing Gift Contained Within Our Emotional Wounds

Monday, June 30th, 2014

Steve Maraboli photo quote | Dianna Bonny Photography

Don’t let your wounds make you someone you are not.

The above thought came to me when I was trying to figure out what exactly I am doing with all this writing and bound up desire to share my story. Sometimes, it seems like such craziness. I mean, I am up against some pretty big odds here and every so often there is a part of me that steps in, slaps me around a bit and simply demands to know what I am doing. (more…)

How Back Pain Mirrors Our Emotional Suffering

Friday, June 27th, 2014

Carl Jung quote photo | Dianna Bonny Photography

This week, for the first time in a long while, I was actually able to bend over without grimacing and holding my breath due to lower back pain. This has been troubling me for years, but I have always been able to beat it back to a tolerable place via acupuncture, massage and/or chiropractic care.

On my flight to New York in April, I knew I was in trouble after I lifted my suitcase into the overhead bin and sat down. There was that excruciating moment of realization that something was not right, but there I was, a captive passenger for the next five and a half hours. I hobbled my way through the next week with a steady stream of Advil in my veins and was impressed by the kindness and generosity of strangers willing to share the drug contents of their pockets and purses.

Back pain seems to elicit a universal kind of empathy. (more…)

Talking to Children About Death: Healing and Conversation

Monday, June 23rd, 2014

Steve Allen quote | Dianna Bonny Photography

Last week I had the opportunity to share my story with a wonderful group of people who graciously allowed me to unfurl before them. I really enjoy this kind of interaction with small groups. Answering questions forces me to dig deeper into what I have learned and how it might apply to the others dealing with loss. It is very life affirming and soul healing.

One thing that came up, and seems to come up a lot, is the challenge of speaking with children about death. How do we, as parents, open the door to this very uncomfortable topic, and then keep a dialogue going that is in the best interest of the child? (more…)

Using Equine Principles to Train the Human Mind

Friday, June 20th, 2014

equine mind | Dianna Bonny Photography

Last week, I had dinner with the woman who has been caring for one of my horses. I always love seeing her even though it brings up the deep sadness I harbor about having to give up my equine companions. There are certain parts of my story, and this is one of them, that I prefer not to visit all that often because the pain is raw and scorching.

I try to stay on the periphery to spare myself the heartache. (more…)

The Language of Emotions: Taking Control of Your Healing

Monday, June 16th, 2014

This post is from a year ago. Perhaps longer. As much as I hate to admit my own limitations, I am exhausted and in a place where I need to step back a bit and figure out the future. Lately, I cannot find solace in my writing mind. There are just too many things floating around in there.  The experience of one child returning home from college, another one leaving the nest and Father’s day have all left me a bit discombobulated.

Despite time passing, Karla McLaren’s book and approach to honoring emotions represent true healing to me. As such, a reprise is in order.

I hope you can bear with me as I figure this out.

—-

There is a familiar heaviness in my belly. Akin to a giant boulder, it sits at the center of my being. I am depressed, I think, as I squirm trying to get comfortable with the oppressive energy.

One of the best books I discovered last year was The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You by Karla McLaren; it was a beacon, of sorts, during what I refer to as “my first big collapse.”

Six months after my husband’s death, I was both overwhelmed and terrified. Despair engulfed me, so off and on for three days I soaked in my bathtub — a proverbial pool of anguish — metaphorically drowning in tears I had no control over. The book was a life ring I could cleave to as I began to truly navigate the currents of my grief. (more…)