Archive for the ‘Dianna Bonny’ Category

Green Healing Goodness: Matcha Tea Benefits

Friday, September 19th, 2014

Caffeine and adrenaline don’t play very well together, at least not in my body. I discovered this in the throes of adjusting to my new life as a widow and single parent, as I attempted to drag some of my old habits right along with me.

The caffeinated jolt from my morning coffee, the one I love to drink as I walk the dogs, overwhelmed my system and sent me into orbit. Decaf was almost as bad.

I had to renegotiate a few things that were no longer working for me and surrender to the wisdom of reality, which is never easy. I ignored reality for far too long and it has a painful bite.

Thankfully, in my search for a replacement beverage that felt similar to coffee, I stumbled upon Matcha, a finely milled, high-quality green tea. (more…)

Signs from the Universe: Lucky Pennies

Monday, September 15th, 2014

lucky_pennies

I have an odd habit of finding pennies. I don’t try to find them (it’s a rule) and I don’t actually look for them, but they appear anyway. I tracked this odd penny finding tendency for a few months out of sheer curiosity. The most I found in one month was twenty-one. I averaged ten.

On one day, I found three of them in completely different locations. It kind of blew my mind and I kept looking over my shoulder to see if someone was following me.

They are in random places: parking lots, walking trails, stores, restaurants, streets, and even the beach.

I am always pleasantly surprised when I see them and wonder why pennies and not dimes or quarters? Is there something about copper, or whatever pennies are made of these days, that cause them to fall out of pockets or wallets more often? Or, are we just more careless with this particular coin? (more…)

Life Transitions and the Beauty of Sharing Wisdom

Friday, September 12th, 2014

Dianna Bonny PhotographyThis Fall seems to be full of transitions, and I am trying to keep up with it all, but honestly, always feel like I am falling behind. No pun intended. I keep thinking things will begin to simplify and slow down, but the pace just seems to get faster. Since this is my favorite time of year, however, I am trying to revel in that wonderful fact.

I drove my son up to Santa Cruz last week for the sophomore installment of college. The eight hour car trip was one of the funniest and most enjoyable road experiences I have ever had. We spent quite some time engineering how to fit all his belongings in the back of my small SUV, and by the time the tires hit the road at 5am nearly every inch of my car was occupied. Thankfully, he doesn’t have a huge wardrobe, so we were somehow able to fit the important stuff: mountain bike, unicycle, surfboard, shelving unit, dresser, violin and fan. (more…)

On Falling Down, Getting Back Up and Being Enough

Monday, September 8th, 2014

“There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.” –Unknown

pink flower

I’m fairly certain that all of us have friends and family, even ourselves, that have stumbled in life. Some are not able to get up. Often circumstances knock us down, or maybe it is alcohol or food or drugs that fuel the fall. It seems to be part of the human experience, despite our best efforts to keep ourselves upright and moving forward.

Many years ago, I was friends with a woman who was gorgeous inside and out. I was in awe of her beauty, poise and seemingly charmed life. I was unaware of her fondness for vodka, particularly in the mornings before me we met to have coffee.

By the time I learned of her addiction, it was too late. After a DUI, she bitterly told me that she had never felt good enough to fit in with “these women” in the community.  I was stunned by the revelation, thinking she fit in more than I ever did. (more…)

The Secret Life of Secrets: When to Tell a Secret?

Friday, September 5th, 2014

“Lying, by omission or commission, is a bad idea. I cannot shake my dependency on the white lie, because I was brought up to be nice. And I’ve never figured out the nice way to say, ‘I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than come to your house for dinner.’ But the meaningful lie, the kind that involves being untruthful or deceitful about important stuff to those you love, is like poison. Telling the truth hurts, but it doesn’t kill. Lying kills love.” Amy Bloom

 

secret_favor

I have been pondering secrets and lies — those quiet forces that ebb and flow through our lives, sometimes as effortlessly as the air we breathe. I’m not waxing poetic on the morality of them. Some are most likely necessary; not everyone can handle the truth and some people just plain don’t want to know it.

It’s more a curiosity about human nature and the ways in which we complicate an existence that could be really simple and lovely. (more…)

On Warrior Pose and Being a Warrior

Friday, August 29th, 2014

After reading a truly amazing book, I found myself looking up the meaning behind warrior pose. Richard Rosen, a contributing editor of Yoga Journal, offers this:

“The yogi is really a warrior against his own ignorance,” Rosen says. “I speculate that Virabhadrasana I (warrior pose) is about rising up out of your own limitations.”

I can’t imagine a more fitting synopsis of the book by Brad Willis (aka Bhava Ram), Warrior Pose: How Yoga (Literally) Saved My Life.

warrior_pose

A friend of mine recently attended an event where she had the opportunity to hear the author speak. She raved about him, so off I went to the local Barnes & Noble, where the book had literally just been placed on the shelf. Barnes & Noble is like Whole Foods for me. I can spend hours in the aisles, wandering the possibilities. (more…)

Gasping for Air and Healing with Every Breath

Monday, August 25th, 2014

When I was in high school, I volunteered at a camp for kids with Cystic Fibrosis. Each summer was an amazing experience because these young, beautiful souls came together and spent time enjoying themselves in the company of others living with CF. No questions were asked. No explaining needed to be done. They were just free to be kids at camp.

The counselors were known as “Thumpers,” because we were trained to administer a therapeutic practice, known as thumping: a rhythmic pounding with cupped hands over different areas of the chest to loosen phlegm, and aid in breathing. Some of the kids were so tiny it was hard to imagine accomplishing this task. Think of playing a carefully orchestrated drum solo on a small child.

We didn’t tap on them. We thumped.

In the mornings, the halls of the buildings were filled with the collective sound of thumping and coughing. Rhythmic beats, eliciting breath and life.

Buddha statue

We took thumping very seriously and I remember my arms getting so tired I thought they would fall off, but the spirit of why we were there made anything possible. The kids spoke openly about death and possessed an incredibly deep understanding of the finite quality and fragility of life. There was no guarantee that they would return the next summer. (more…)

A Forensic Exploration Into Understanding Suicide

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Gilda Radner quote photo | Dianna Bonny Photography

I have been pondering suicide from a more forensic point of view, trying to understand what it is that makes the subject so very difficult for us to explore and discuss in a way that will ultimately be healing and expansive on both the collective, and individual, levels.

This exploration has grown out of the soil of my own discomfort at speaking about it in the beginning, when it was a raw and terrifying void.

To examine the question of what it means when someone we love chooses a self-inflicted death is wholly uncomfortable. It asks us to explore uncharted territory. In many ways, it holds a mirror up to our own life for reflection, and this is not an easy task.

When my world was impacted by my husband’s suicide, it was a devastating assault on my view of the world. It utterly shattered my sense of safety and I felt as though my identity had been stolen. It introduced an excruciating uncertainty into my life that was very difficult to tolerate. (more…)

Unearth Your Inner Compass and Find Your Passion

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

I first posted this over a year ago and when I re-read it I thought a reprise would be appropriate because my daughter has a job at a cool salon and this past week moved into a house.  I couldn’t be more proud of her.

When our lives intersected with the events in 2010, all the plans we had been making for college, getting into college, doing the right activities for college, looking good on college applications, and so on, became somewhat meaningless. I had one child going into senior year and another into sophomore – both crucial entry points as far as the college application process, but we simply stepped off that train. Thrown off at full speed is probably more accurate.

No one had the brain-power to fill out an application. No one had the capacity to think out into the future and calculate the best courses for the path, although we had a rock star counselor who monitored things. Quite frankly, college dropped in the priority ranking, well below getting through the day and emotional survival.

Looking back, I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for my children. All three were attending school within two weeks. I contemplated pulling them out for a while, but it seemed like establishing some normalcy in the midst of such an aberration was the best thing to do. Having a familiar routine dropped an anchor that held us steady, while the storm raged on around us. (more…)

Discovering Your Truth and Healing After an Affair

Friday, August 15th, 2014

reality quote |Dianna Bonny Photography

In my other life, I knew a woman who was involved in a long-term affair. This went on for years, and she spoke about it — and her vision of their future together — often and openly, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

I was always surprised by her confident tone of inevitability.

At first, the man was going to leave his wife when the kids left for college. Then, when they left, he was going to leave her after she had adapted to life without them, and so on. The story just seemed to keep morphing over time and I couldn’t help but wonder when she might catch on to the fact that he wasn’t leaving his wife, ever.

Regardless, she chose to believe the stories he told her.

I thought of her when I learned about the women in my husband’s life and wondered what kinds of stories they were told about me and why they chose to believe them. Of course, I was told stories as well that I chose to believe on some level. (more…)