Thanksgiving Stories & Conscious Parenting

I dropped off my son at the Park-N-Ride Sunday morning so he could travel back up to college for finals, and then I headed out for my morning walk. All along the streets, parents were engaged in similar endeavors: getting kids into their cars, hugging and slinging suitcases into the trunk.

As I walked along, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that our weekend was so magical. It might be because I threw myself into this Thanksgiving full throttle, or perhaps we were all just ready for a good, relaxing holiday together. It also might have been the Sweet Potato Pie.

There were a few noteworthy holiday moments that made every cell in my body smile. For instance, after the turkey dinner wrapped up, we decided to watch a movie. It can be a challenge to find one we agree on and often, we give up. My recommendation won out, although it was touch and go as soon as they realized it was a foreign film with sub-titles (Yuck!) It is one of my favorite films and luckily they enjoyed it (sigh of relief), so the big smile moment came at the end when they all told me they thought it was really good.

Sometimes, it is these silly little things that create the most meaning for me as a mother.

If you haven’t seen The Intouchables, I can’t recommend it enough. Great storyline, incredible acting and amazing music — worth it just for the dance scene to Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Boogie Wonderland”.

Then there was the stop-you-in-your-tracks moment, which I suppose every holiday has to have in order to qualify for being an actual holiday. I don’t know about you, but my childhood was full of them.

There we all were eating Eggs Benedict on Thanksgiving morning listening to my college-attending son, who arrived at two am, chatting away about his adventures, when he pauses and opens his mouth to insert a bite of food. My eyes happen to glance his way at this very moment and I catch a glimpse of the is-that-what-I-think-it-is silver ball attached to his tongue and I blurt out, “Oh my god, you had your tongue pierced.”

I wasn’t planning on writing a blog post so it escaped me to take a photo but my mind was awash in silver balls.

silver balls | Dianna Bonny Photography

I manage to steel myself into the space of awareness and watch all the fireworks going off in my head. A freight train of mental banter steam rolls through my mind — this is a concept that collides with my image of my child.

As I am assimilating the pierced tongue into my reality, I ponder what my reaction might have been a few years ago when I had a much more black-and-white view of the world. I might have seen it as a sign of bad parenting or evidence that my kid was headed in the wrong direction. I imagine what my parents would have done if I had showed up with a piercing and that makes me chuckle. I simply wouldn’t have done it out of fear of the consequences.

I ponder the fact that my child is not fearful of expressing himself around me and decide there is something worthwhile to consider here.

I am reminded that we are parenting in challenging times and it makes me realize that this family island I have fiercely fought to salvage and protect after the events of 2010 is still very much afloat in the real world, where kids grow up and become humans with their own opinions and creative impulses.

I register my dismay with him and consciously make the internal choice to see it as a sign of expression. It’s one I don’t understand, mind you, but my kids are part of a generation that expresses itself in creative ways that my generation did not. For now, I am OK exploring that space and grateful that a tongue can heal.

How about you – did you have a noteworthy holiday moment? Does parenting bring you face to face with things that challenge you?

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

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