Unearth Your Inner Compass and Find Your Passion

I first posted this over a year ago and when I re-read it I thought a reprise would be appropriate because my daughter has a job at a cool salon and this past week moved into a house.  I couldn’t be more proud of her.

When our lives intersected with the events in 2010, all the plans we had been making for college, getting into college, doing the right activities for college, looking good on college applications, and so on, became somewhat meaningless. I had one child going into senior year and another into sophomore – both crucial entry points as far as the college application process, but we simply stepped off that train. Thrown off at full speed is probably more accurate.

No one had the brain-power to fill out an application. No one had the capacity to think out into the future and calculate the best courses for the path, although we had a rock star counselor who monitored things. Quite frankly, college dropped in the priority ranking, well below getting through the day and emotional survival.

Looking back, I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for my children. All three were attending school within two weeks. I contemplated pulling them out for a while, but it seemed like establishing some normalcy in the midst of such an aberration was the best thing to do. Having a familiar routine dropped an anchor that held us steady, while the storm raged on around us.

My daughter had a passion for photography and was on her way to art school. She attended an SAIC summer program the prior month and we traveled to Chicago together, got her set up in the dorm and spent time exploring the city for two days before the program began. When I look at this picture of us there, I marvel at where I thought my life was going then, where I thought her life was headed, and how, in a brief moment, all those thoughts were blown away like sand down a windy beach.

my_girl

We decided the best option was a gap year so she had time to regroup. She worked her way up to managing a restaurant and the gap year became two. Then, she moved to Oregon for a time and managed a coffee shop. The move was difficult for me because she was leaving before I was ready. On the day she left, I cried in the closet, and then in the bath. I wasn’t myself for quite a while. Since she wasn’t attending college, I felt like there was no return ticket for summer break and holidays.

I knew I had to give her space and let her go. If I filled her with my fears, I would only be poking holes in the very thing I spent years trying to help create: a confident and capable human being. The truth is we learn by doing, by going out in the world, participating and finding our own way.

She returned home in January and enrolled in a groovy cosmetology school. She has found her passion in the expression of creating beauty through hair and make up. As a mother, it is incredibly gratifying to watch her settle in to herself and boldly claim what she wants out of life.

hair_art

It is a lesson I wish I had learned at her tender age.

I like to think that all the years of infusing her with unconditional love and encouragement has helped, but I do happen to believe that I was showered with lucky fairy dust the moment the universe graced me with children.

Speaking from my heart, a heart that now has more than a few cracks running through it, I can say that seeing my daughter standing before me with a smiling face, enthusiastically telling me how happy she is in this pursuit, is one of the best gifts I have ever received.

What I hope for my kids, and for all of us trying to live the most authentic expression of ourselves, is that we discover our internal compass and have the courage to pursue that message into its lair.

May you unearth and honor your compass. I believe it is patiently awaiting your attention.

Sending you love and appreciation for being here.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

  3 comments for “Unearth Your Inner Compass and Find Your Passion

  1. May 17, 2013 at 6:09 am

    Beautiful post Dianna! I really loved this: “The truth is we learn by doing, by going out in the world, participating and finding our own way.” Such great advice.

  2. Polly Case
    August 20, 2014 at 7:27 am

    I totally resonate with this! Thank you. I am very proud of my children too…after their brother suicided 5 years ago. One of my sons is 19 and a very gifted musician and songwriter. He had no energy or interest for college, and I am so glad I convinced him it was ok to sit things out for a while. Senior year was difficult when “everyone” was constantly talking about their plans for the future…while he was getting a record deal and forming an LLC with his producer….but too humble to say anything. Trauma remains in our emotional bodies, and I do believe it will take longer for the children to process…but I have hope that one day he will embrace meditation and other forms of healthy healing. In the meantime, I am thankful for his presence in the house. 🙂 Bless us all.

    • Dianna Bonny
      August 20, 2014 at 10:10 am

      I’m so glad to hear your story Polly. Often, it is so difficult to go against the tide of what we think we “should” be doing but this experience has taught me to do that very thing. I am so glad I allowed my children to find their way and happy to know your children are flourishing as well. How wonderful for your son to be creatively expressing himself and finding success. I am certain that will go a long way in helping him heal. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending love and blessings to you. xo

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