Don’t let your wounds make you someone you are not.

The above thought came to me when I was trying to figure out what exactly I am doing with all this writing and bound up desire to share my story. Sometimes, it seems like such craziness. I mean, I am up against some pretty big odds here and every so often there is a part of me that steps in, slaps me around a bit and simply demands to know what I am doing.

I hope you can relate to having conversations with yourself like I do. In my mind, I am really speaking to the universe in the hope that someone is listening, and might answer, which thank goodness happens quite often. Then again, it’s possible I’m hearing voices and spend too much time alone.

Back to the thought, which came to me in the middle of the night, when I woke up with my heart pounding much too fast to remain asleep. I lay there for awhile, quietly calling in every ounce of love and relaxation I could muster, while taking in deep, life-affirming breaths that seemed to be a soothing salve to the busy little drum in my chest that had gotten itself all worked up about something while I slumbered away.

So, as I lay there, I posed the question to myself, Why are you doing this?

Out of nowhere popped the idea, Don’t let your wounds make you someone you are not. I was stunned by the simplicity, and beauty, of this ten-word sentence that encapsulates the why behind this work I am doing.

I have become a big believer in building a life outward from WHY. Understanding why you do what you do will infuse your days with inner strength and knowing, as well as carve gorgeous swaths of purpose through the canyons of your life.

In spite of the lovely adage of knowing your why, it is always surprising when your mind hijacks the body every once in a while and creates late night anxiety. I keep having to remind myself that old thought patterns are deeply etched on the walls of our past and erasing them requires a regular practice of devoted awareness.

Thinking about this made me realize that in those first few days after the suicide, I was walking on the hallowed ground of transition, which I see as a fragile, in-between space that can easily become cemented into a way of life. There was a powerful opportunity to become a victim, the siren call of allowing our wounds to walk us down the path of becoming someone we are not.

In my experience, a victim allows their wound to become the dark fury behind every thought, behavior and habit that make up their lives.

I often ponder if it might be possible that our pain and suffering are gifts containing fertile elements to spark the continuing evolutionary growth of humanity. I didn’t quite understand this until recently, and it is something I am still unraveling, but it gives me hope to think that there might be a deeper meaning in all these experiences we share as a part of this life here on Earth.

I hope your healing journey leads you down the path of allowing your wounds to become the raw material of immeasurable beauty and goodness in your life.

Sending love,

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.