This past August marked what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. As a way of releasing the commitment bound to that day, I burned my wedding dress.

Over the years, I tried on the oyster-pink raw silk garment to see if it still fit. At times it did, while others it did not. In August, it fit my body but not my life; I had outgrown the need to preserve the gown.

Stitched into the threads of silk was a promise, a commitment to a future that for years hung in a bag from its own pretty hanger among cedar shavings in our closet. Like me, it had been protected from what would unfold as our married life.

In spite of all that happened, there is a continent of emotion regarding my marriage: The promises we made, the hopes that caught in my throat as I took his hand at the altar, the births of each of our children. And in between the difficult times, a place where humor and love existed; it is in those spaces of living that I have allowed myself to grieve my marriage.

My dress was just a fragile piece of cloth that anchored me to the past.

I placed the gown in a bag filled with flowers and letters I had written. It was a simple funerary offering, the dress paired with musings that followed my unbound heart into the void past the confusion and landed me on a beach.

At the intersection where past caught up to the present, I sat with a friend, feet in the sand, a whispered prayer on my lips. I watched as the dress, letters and flowers went up in flames. The energy I felt danced in the glow of the fire before me, sacred remnants coiled upward into the atmosphere only to be released in the ash that floated in the air around us. And there in each of my palms rested a sense of purpose; I had reclaimed myself. What was once a cavernous void was replaced with love and gratitude for all that remained.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.