Healing & the Power of Receiving November 13, 2013 • 11 Comments “Receiving is much harder than giving. It can be emotionally risky: it requires opening up to a possibility or desire that may not be fulfilled. Giving is easy. Not only do you get to showcase your more saintly qualities but also your ego enjoys the reward – the payoff of giving.” Amanda Owen I was never taught much about receiving when I was growing up, other than the mandatory thank you note my mother insisted upon in response to a gift of any sort. Receiving was, in an odd way, almost a sin, and things were heavily weighted in favor of giving. The pleasure of receiving a gift was, in essence, whitewashed by the act of churning out a thank you card. It seemed a way to somehow even the score. Out of this climate I grew into a very bad receiver, feeling a sense of guilt whenever someone bestowed a gift or act of kindness upon me. Never did I feel this more than when I needed help the most: right after the suicide when I was facing a rather dire set of circumstances. Despite my need for help, my internal “giver persona” was rather resistant to the idea. I had to lay myself bare with absolutely nothing to offer in return, other than my deepest gratitude. When I discovered the illuminating book The Power of Receiving, by Amanda Owen, I began to understand why I struggled so much. In it, she writes: “…the Giver archetype is well-known and celebrated in our culture, its opposite, the Receiver, is almost wholly unfamiliar. The result? Busyness is a virtue, and countless people multitask themselves into exhaustion, overextend their energy reserves and take care of other people’s needs at the expense of their own health and emotional well-being.” I had a strong sense of myself when I was busy and taking care of other people – in other words, giving – but I wasn’t so good at being on the other side of the equation. Although the book is about attracting the life you desire through her unique approach of opening the channels to receiving, it also offers an interesting roadmap for a healing soul: cultivating a state of receivership is essential to rebuilding ourselves post-trauma. I thought I had become a good receiver until I participated in the singing workshop last summer. One of the first things we did was learn how to receive applause, a seemingly simple exercise. We were asked to stand in front of the group and embrace the energy coming our way. I can’t tell you how difficult it was in the beginning — so much so, it reduced me to tears. Apparently, I still had huge barriers up to letting anything good come my way, even applause. Over time, and with practice, I became more open and eventually enjoyed the exchange of energy with the audience, validating Ms. Owen’s hypothesis that, “life is inherently giving and if barriers to receiving were removed, like when a floodgate is lowered, life’s givingness would rush in.” The author outlines simple practices that “strengthen the capacity to receive” the things you most desire, be it love, weight loss, money (or healing.) I was particularly drawn to her first exercise, Take the Three Steps: Accept all compliments. Count your blessings. Be spiritually naked. I believe incorporating them into daily life will build a field of gratitude and magnetize the heart — our most powerful organ — opening us up to the infinite generosity of the universe. I love this book. I encourage you to read it and let the simple practices plant seeds in your being that can grow wildly outward and push the floodgates to life’s givingness wide open. May you receive everything your heart desires, and more. With love, -db Who is Dianna Bonny: Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.