Discovering Your Truth: What Do You Want?

lotus | Dianna Bonny Photography

I remember my mother saying to me quite often as a child, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, young lady, don’t say anything at all.” I never figured out why she always threw in the “young lady” part, but I always felt small when she said it. I knew better than to talk back or question her.

There was something about that formidable, “don’t say anything at all” ending. It kept the truth corralled in my heart.

We all know that truth can be expressed nicely, and on the other hand, nice can be a sugar coated, dagger behind the back.

Nice is complicated, often a long way from the truth. When we don’t learn to express what really lies in our heart, we are left with a sense of not knowing who we really are. In my case, not being able to acknowledge how I felt left me with the idea that I wasn’t supposed to know who I was — because she was, quite possibly, not nice.

You see the vicious cycle? Maybe you were trapped in it too.

I started exploring my own truth a couple of years ago, when I was asked at a writer’s retreat, “What do you want?” This question completely unraveled me in a way I didn’t expect. I couldn’t answer it. In fact, it made me extremely uncomfortable to even consider it.

I was filled to the brim from a young age with other people’s wants for me: good grades, college, marriage, a career. My life equation didn’t factor in or encourage any consideration of what I wanted, which is odd, because it was my life.

Doing what other people wanted me to do became second nature and an unquestioned way of life that seemed completely normal.

One thing I did know: I wanted children. I came out of the womb dripping and oozing all things maternal and the day I became a mother I felt like I had finally come home after being lost for a very long time.

For some reason, I didn’t stretch this sense of homecoming out over the rest of my existence until after my life was laying in fragments on the ground. Only then was I able to see the parts that were not truly me — the things I did to be nice — and let them go.

So, I’m curious. What do you want? Have you ever asked this question (and given yourself permission to honor the answer) in earnest?

I caution you that the answers may ignite an inner revolution that begins in the smallest crevices of your being and ripples outward from there. I used to get confounded by having to choose food from a menu, which stemmed from being taught at a young age to always choose the least expensive item. I rarely deviated, even though the cheapest thing wasn’t necessarily what I wanted. Now I explore beyond that boundary and lean into the things my body craves for nourishment.

I extend this question to you in the hope that your journey might take a different and less complicated path than mine, one out beyond being nice that travels right through the fertile territory of your heart’s desire.

What do you want? Truly. Madly. Deeply. The answers may surprise you and your life just may swerve off the beaten path and into the gorgeous place you belong.

Sending you love on your journey.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

  4 comments for “Discovering Your Truth: What Do You Want?

  1. October 21, 2013 at 7:16 am

    It’s hard to respond to that question. A question that didn’t get asked for so long. A question I was more interested in asking others than even considering for myself.

    But now? Well, I want to write and to make a difference with the words I choose. But even more, I want to speak. When I speak I feel I am home. Just like your reference in the beginning of your post.

    Oh, and thanks for asking.

    • Dianna Bonny
      October 22, 2013 at 9:56 am

      Anne: I can tell you that even two years later, the answers are still bubbling up. I think it’s a question we have to keep touching on. Keep asking and allowing the answers. Your message is important and if speaking is the vehicle that calls to you – I encourage you to follow that nudge. I will be cheering you on. xo

  2. rakesh sharma
    October 22, 2013 at 4:27 am

    A very probing piece. I guess it rings true for most of us. Self knowledge is essential to happiness. KNOW THY SELF…
    Thanks for sharing it.

    • Dianna Bonny
      October 22, 2013 at 10:01 am

      Thank you for being here and sharing your thoughts. I agree with you on self knowledge – imagine how different the world might be if we granted ourselves permission to discover and utilize this valuable information. xo

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