I was asked in two interesting questions in an interview the other day that I have been contemplating for a quite some time: Why aren’t people talking about suicide, and what is it I hope to accomplish with my work?

There are so many reasons why we don’t talk about it but, death in general, makes most people uncomfortable and suicide is many paces beyond that discomfort.

Just because we aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. And it is the happening aspect that my work centers around. I am interested in creating awareness and an opening for people who have been affected by suicide, the people left behind, who live in a suspended world disconnected from community and connection to people walking the same path. The shame surrounding suicide has created a mighty wall of fear that keeps people corralled in silence and isolation.

I think it’s time to break through that insidious barrier and create space for healing.

The interview also made me think about a recent development in my family. My daughter loves to ride motorcycles, and for her birthday got her first bike. If I mention this to people the reaction is fairly uniform, and goes something like this: Why did you let her get one? They are the most dangerous things on the road.

I know all of this and yet, as a parent of humans who are moving out of being numerically children and stepping into adulthood, I also feel I have to respect their choices and guide them in being smart and responsible about them. I could take the stance that I don’t support what she is doing, but I didn’t raise my kids to live by my rules forever. I raised them to be curious participants in the world.

One parent said to me, “I would just cut my son off financially and emotionally if he chose to ride motorcycles,” and this seemed a rather harsh and unrealistic option to me.

But, the motorcycle does bring mortality into the center ring for discussion. So, I spoke to my attorney about setting up a will for her and he explained that she not only needed a will, but a thorough estate plan.

Why? Because of that ominous phrase, “in case.” I will be honest that I’m not a fan of in case, but it is an element of the reality we all inhabit.

He went on to explain that the most important thing she needs is an Advanced Healthcare Directive because now, at the age of twenty-one, she is out of bounds of my mother-bear power. Meaning, were she to have an accident that rendered her incapable of making choices, the hospital would have more power over her healthcare than I would.

This scared the daylights out of me, so we are now in the process of setting up a four-part estate plan that includes a Will, Trust, Power of Attorney and Advanced Healthcare Directive. All of this will give her power over the in case, which of course, I hope will never come to pass.

Not talking about the difficult things in life perpetuates our powerlessness. Speaking of them creates new perspectives and possibilities. Where can you engage in discussion and reclaim a sense of liberty?

Sending love and light,

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.