“There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.” –Unknown

I’m fairly certain that all of us have friends and family, even ourselves, that have stumbled in life. Some are not able to get up. Often circumstances knock us down, or maybe it is alcohol or food or drugs that fuel the fall. It seems to be part of the human experience, despite our best efforts to keep ourselves upright and moving forward.

Many years ago, I was friends with a woman who was gorgeous inside and out. I was in awe of her beauty, poise and seemingly charmed life. I was unaware of her fondness for vodka, particularly in the mornings before me we met to have coffee.

By the time I learned of her addiction, it was too late. After a DUI, she bitterly told me that she had never felt good enough to fit in with “these women” in the community.  I was stunned by the revelation, thinking she fit in more than I ever did.

I have often wondered when she decided that she was not enough. Or when her belief of not being enough became the endless space where she poured the mind-numbing vodka.

Isn’t it true that if we see ourselves as not enough, there is then a void to fill? That food or alcohol or drugs become the fluff and padding that we stuff into that vacuous, self-made space?

By the same token, if we can begin to accept that we are enough, that void slowly disappears and there is nothing to fill. We shift from living in never being enough to simply living.

It seems simple but somehow we always complicate these things.

My friend eventually slid over the edge of the abyss. At 40, she died alone in her apartment, leaving behind three children. I think of her often, as I balance on this post-tragedy tightrope, trying to keep my eye on the truth and my heart open to being enough. I wish I could share with her now that falling is indeed part of the journey, and getting back up is possible, one micro step at a time.

May you always get up and live.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.