Coping with Loss: A Reinterpretation of Father’s Day

appreciation | Dianna Bonny Photography

As far as holidays go, Father’s Day presents a certain kind of challenge. Living in this culture of mass marketed and manufactured “celebration” days, it is somewhat hard to escape. Don’t get me wrong — I adore holidays and the way they create a space for expressing sentiments that should really be expressed on a daily basis. I just don’t happen to be a fan of the commercialization that has occurred over the last couple of decades. It seems like our holidays have been hijacked by super-sized sales at Wal-Mart and the greeting card folks over at Hallmark.

Give me a good old-fashioned holiday, the kind that surrounds family and friends in a nurturing bubble for a day or two, keeping the outside world where it belongs: outside.

I have pondered the essence of Father’s Day for my children over the last five years, and now as we cycle further and further away from the shock, it is up to us to redesign how we relate to this day in our own way. Do we pretend it isn’t happening? Do we celebrate it?

Fortunately, I have three amazing teachers who live under my roof, masquerading as my children. The depth of their wisdom often leaves me speechless. While I worry about how they will fare on this day, they present me with flowers in the morning and say, “Happy Parental Appreciation Day.”

I don’t know that words could do justice to how this simple act of love made me feel.

A beautiful shift in thought and simple re-interpretation, this alternative way to look at the day injected new energy into a potentially distressing day. We laugh about the traits they have inherited from their father, the good things he imprinted upon them that will hopefully hold them steady as they make sense of his death.

I am deeply touched by the love that surrounds me. And gently reminded that although I am the parent, I am, in truth, always a student.

Have you ever had to face a difficult holiday? What made it work, or not, for you?

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.

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If you have found yourself on the threshold of loss, I blog weekly with tips and tools for the journey that helped me and may help you, too.



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