“While stupid suffering is often born out of fear, wise suffering is typically stirred up by love. The dumb, unproductive stuff comes from allowing yourself to be controlled by your early conditioning and from doing things that are out of harmony with your essence. The smart, useful variety arises out of an intention to approach life as an interesting work of art and uncanny game that’s worthy of your curiosity.” Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia

I am in awe of the mind and how it manages to generate so much bloody rubbish. Or at least mine can, and does, regularly. I try to notice this as often as I can, otherwise I slip into the rat-on-a-treadmill mode of living where I am stumbling along in the land of comfortably numb, busily distracted by every shiny mental object that comes along.

Then I end up doing the stupid suffering mentioned in the above quote.

As I am thinking of this, my dogs are busy running back and forth in the garden, chasing shadows of the butterflies overhead. They are endlessly fascinated, never giving up on the idea that they might catch one, because, like the human mind, they don’t even realize they are chasing only shadows.

They expend enormous amounts of energy doing this activity all day.

The ever-powerful subconscious seems to like us doing this as well, because a distracted mind cannot focus long enough to make any changes in the way we think. Change represents a tremendous threat to the status quo that the subconscious has worked so hard to create throughout our lives.

In this way, our mental constructs are much like archaic institutions that exist in the world, perpetuating old ways of thought that keep certain ideas afloat, certain folks in control and the rest of us chasing butterfly shadows.

To break away from this model, one has to adopt a somewhat rebellious mindset and go underground like a stealth detective hell bent on finding clues for a better way of living. I strongly believe this is the way of healing that will set the course for healthy evolution after loss.

Here is a mindfulness exercise that a friend of mine shared with me to inspire a mental rebellion and put a halt to butterfly chasing:

The next time you find yourself thinking a thought like, “I am sad” or “I am angry,” stop for a moment and find the sensation in your body. Where is it located and how does it make you feel exactly? Write it down if you are inclined, so you can track the progress.

Then, take a deep breath and let the thought go as best you can. Now, put the phrase, “I am having the thought that…” in front of your statement and see if it feels different. Is it as powerful as the original thought? Do you have the sensation that you can simply observe how you are feeling without getting swept away by it?

Again, write down your findings so you have evidence of your momentum.

Next, add “I notice I am having the thought that…” in front of the statement and see if you discover any further changes in the way you can relate to the original thought.

I find that these simple phrases create enough space around my anxiety, sadness or whatever emotion has me in its grip that I can find my way to the source of the feelings and thoughts more freely. And in that space, I can be a compassionate observer, rather than a hapless victim at the mercy of every mental fancy.

Try it and let me know what you discover. It is a simple shift that can release the stronghold of the subconscious mind and just might allow you to see butterflies instead of shadows, and recognize yourself as a work of art that is entirely worthy of your tender curiosity.

As always, sending love.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.